Happy Friday Y’all!
So as many of y’all know, I work part time as a caregiver for my mother who suffers from Dementia, Aphasia, and Parkinson’s. As tough as this trial has been, God has truly blessed my family and I with so many blessings throughout. During my devotion recently, I realized some of the things that I’ve learned throughout this journey and also what I’ve been reminded of. If you are ever in a similar circumstance you may experience some of these too.
•I have a huge passion for anyone elderly or someone that needs a little help. I think down the road I would like to invest my time caring for those in need in some shape or form.
•I’m constantly reminded of the Trace Adkins’ song “You’re Gonna Miss This”. Even in the pit of some circumstances, I know I’m going to wish for these moments over and over again.
•God is in the little things. Every mundane experience and moment He is present for and often gives you favor and grace for your persistence.
•You may not relate and identify most with people your own age. None of my friends are taking care of their parents, with the exception of a couple with treatable illnesses. I have often had conversations with my parents’ friends who have cared for their family members or spouse with a terminal illness and there is a sense compassion and understanding that is evident that exudes.
•Even though I know God will guide me through it and I trust in Him completely, I still struggle with the thought of not being with and seeing my mom everyday once she passes. As wonderful as it has been becoming so close, in some ways I think it was make my grief more difficult.
•You’re going to forget a lot of the before. Sometimes I’ll hear things that my mom did from other people and think “My mom? Really?” I didn’t expect that. It’s odd you have such an all consuming present that part of that person’s personality in the past steps away for a bit. Home videos and stories from others seem to help with this the most.
• I will have waves of exhaustion.
*Walking around with my hands on her hips so that she didn’t trip and fall.
*Lifting her to and from the wheel chair.
*Getting her dressed and changed, as she grabs on to everything around her including myself.
*Trying my best to translate what she is attempting to say to real words.
*Anticipating what she might need and want
*Dealing with the idea of her imminent death
*Going through the stages of grief because in some ways she has already left us.
*Not having her there to do things we used to and to ask questions to.
• Life is absolutely a full circle, and I believe God intended it to be this way. By caring for her, I better understand how to be a good daughter and what a mother’s love is really like. I can only imagine this will magnify when we have kids. When I’m with family and friends that have little ones, I hear so many similarities to my everyday life with mom. It amazing, when you strip down to the core of who we are, you’re left with a childlike innocence, joy, and love that in my opinion comes direct from Christ.
•I will do anything to make someone smile or laugh. This is so true, but especiallyyyy when that person is my mom. The same way that giving a gift brings you a sense of happiness from the act of giving, bringing joy to her and anyone else brings me an even bigger joy.
•My family and I now share a bond that is incredibly strong and rooted even deeper in Christ, which in my opinion is what’s most important in life.